


maybe we'll sleep here covered in star shine

by Luppiters



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Late at Night, Post Bartlett Administration, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:46:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28697175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luppiters/pseuds/Luppiters
Summary: On a sleepless night, C.J. finds herself staring at the stars and reminiscing about her childhood.
Relationships: Danny Concannon/C. J. Cregg
Comments: 17
Kudos: 14





	maybe we'll sleep here covered in star shine

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Passenger's "Sometimes It's Something, Sometimes It's Nothing At All."
> 
> I can't believe I'm actually posting _something_ … 🙈 This old story of mine would've likely stayed in my Notes app forever had it not been [theoofoof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoofoof) and [fransunflower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fransunflower/pseuds/fransunflower)'s support and encouragement and [theoofoof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoofoof)'s fab beta work. Thank you so much, you two ♥♥♥ This is for you. (And to the rest of you - you should go read their stuff if you haven't!)

At four in the morning, the sky was beautifully dark with just the slightest hint of the day that would soon start on the horizon. The stars looked like moon dust scattered over a dark canvas, twinkling for those who happened to be awake at such an hour. It was a shame light pollution covered most of the stars and you could only see a couple of planets and a few of the brightest stars.

C.J. had vague memories of camping trips in the Miami Valley, of the eerie quiet and the occasional unsettling bright eyes from nocturnal animals. Those eyes had rendered her unable to sleep, particularly when her brothers made up some exaggerated stories to scare her. She would then seek her dad’s loving reassurances that nothing would happen to her as long as he was there.

In attempts to calm her down, her astronomy-aficionado dad would point out constellations to her, naming the bright stars and other astronomical objects in the night sky above them. Even when C.J. was younger, and much like it was happening now, she struggled to see the shapes the Greeks and Babylonians once described — even if they were just a loose interpretation of lines put together, she didn’t see men or armors but random geometrical shapes. Then again, centuries ago, those constellations looked different —according to her father, everything was slowly drifting away from their original position as the other stars orbited around the center of the galaxy. 

Her dad had been so passionate when he gently taught her about the night sky and the most basic astronomical concepts, that she grew to love that aspect of science. Considering how helpless she had always been at Physics otherwise, preferring social sciences and math, this was an accomplishment. When she learned that Pluto had been recently demoted as a planet and lots of kids wrote to the President about it, she had wanted to call her father and ask him for his take on the news. Alas, he probably wasn’t that same enthusiastic science buff anymore.

But, no offense intended towards her dad or Pluto or her fond memories of those special moments, C.J. wished she was asleep right now, a couple of decades later, rather than reminiscing about the good old times. As nice as the breeze blowing around her might be, she would rather be sleeping peacefully in her bed with her boyfriend’s arm around her waist. This wasn’t the best time to be awake for anyone (she commended those who _had_ to be awake but that wasn’t for her anymore); she could barely string two thoughts together. 

She was going to be a sleep-deprived, zombie-like creature for the rest of the day, even if she had the benefits of being her own boss and not yet working full-time. Maybe she and Danny could focus on more home shopping or unpacking or something innocuous like that. Something that didn’t require much brainpower. More than anything else, it sucked that she still struggled with sleep, on many levels. Shouldn’t she be past this already?

Months removed from the White House and she was still awoken by Central Asia-related nightmares or she woke up early convinced she was running late to some important meeting.

A few months later… and she was still not completely accustomed to waking up after 7 AM Pacific Standard time. 

At least, in this new phase of her life, she had a newly-minted backyard to slip into, rather than the noisy balcony doors in her previous city apartment that would screech when you slid open the doors. God, the dismayingly loud noise still resonated in her ears if she thought about it long enough. 

Her favorite part of the backyard was a wooden swing bench they had recently bought together. They had placed it on a big tree with sturdy branches that the previous owners had mentioned had been planted before they even bought the house. It would bear the weight perfectly. If she was being honest, this was yet another childhood memory she was indulging in: the swing reminded her of vacations in Napa in her formative years, swinging on a tire hanging from a tree and feeling like she could touch the sky. From what Danny had shared over the years about vacations by the Great Lakes and how quickly he approved of her suggestion, she suspected he shared similar fond feelings for them or maybe he just liked spoiling her.

Who knew, maybe they would get rid of it in a few years to accommodate a treehouse for little people she was _most definitely not_ thinking about just yet… but for now, it was their spot – a place where they could sit and read together, or chat about their days while enjoying the fresh air.

It almost lulled her to sleep, this gentle rocking. C.J. let her mind go blank, submerging herself in the sounds and smells around her. Deep focus and breathing exercises had always helped her relax when she was tense.

The white California primroses were in full bloom and the latter’s sweet scent was intoxicating at this time of night. There were a variety of other flowers growing in the far corner but they weren’t as fragrant or as beautiful as the elegant native flower. C.J. had had a bit of a green thumb in her old house in the Hills. Even though she and Danny had known this was _their_ home as soon as they walked in, the ample backyard space had immediately inspired her to want to get back to it again.

C.J. could also faintly hear the ocean in the distance, since there were barely any cars circulating on the streets at this hour — at least in their small neighborhood. The sound of the water breaking on the shore, taking some sand back with it, was calming. As she played with the dewy, lush grass between her toes, she could almost imagine she was standing in the sand… until she remembered that some gross bug might be hiding in the grass and she quickly put on her slippers once again.

She could also smell… A faint earthy scent, probably coming from the tree and its roots. However, the creaking of a small twig told her that wasn’t the only source, as some muffled footsteps approached and stopped close to her. Her instinctive reaction should’ve been dread and fear but C.J. simply _knew_ who it was.

“Ceej? Everything okay?” The voice, raspy and sleepy, broke the relative quiet around them.

Danny’s callused hands dropped to her shoulders, eventually meeting under her long neck, over her heart. He dropped a soft kiss on her messy hair, eliciting a sweet smile on her. 

She rested her head on his arm as her greeting. “Yeah, I am… Don’t worry. Go to bed, Danny. One of us should rest.”

He lowered his head so it was at almost the same level as hers. He kissed her cheek, then prepared to whisper into her ear. She shuddered at the unexpected but pleasantly ticklish sensation his soft beard rubbing on her earlobe evoked. “No deal. I’m not going back in there without you.”

C.J. blinked, perplexed by the conviction in his words. He had sounded so drowsy minutes ago. “Why?”

“I’m not going to let you sleep out here unless you want to. So, either we both sleep in our bed or neither one of us does,” Danny stated firmly before letting out a sigh, relaxing his hold on her. “I felt you slip out of bed and, when you didn’t come back after a while, I got worried… so I got up.”

She bit her lower lip and tipped her head to the side so she could get a better look at him. Danny knew of her nightmares and restlessness at night, so C.J was aware his concern came from an honest place rather than an attempt to be controlling or possessive. She could sense it in the way he took the last few steps to stand in front of her and the worry that was etched in his features.

“I’m not planning to run away. Not in my nightgown, anyways.” C.J. wrapped the plaid robe more tightly against her, pleased with the apparent nonchalance she was able to project in her tone – he might be chuckling but she could also tell he was rolling his eyes. Some light bickering was the way to reassure him she really was fine.

“Oh, _good_. I can sleep _so_ much better now,” he jokingly replied, offering her one of his adorable, toothy smiles. There were many things she adored about Danny but the fact that he _got_ her sense of humor and rolled with it had to be up there. “Seriously, come back to bed, Cee.” 

But now, there was urgency in his tone. He was so cute when he looked like this.

“No, sit here with me for a bit,” C.J. ordered, adding a pout to make it an irresistible offer. Her eyes drifted upwards again, distracted by one of the planes making its final approach towards LAX after it had seemed like a satellite moving across the sky at first.

He pondered what to do for a second but soon his mind was made up: he sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and snuggling closer. His gentle touch took her breath away; it was like he always knew what she needed at any given point. Right now, she was definitely craving his company.

“Great purchase, huh?” Danny commented while patting the bench area next to him. He stole a glance in her direction before noticing her mind was somewhere else. He looked up towards the twinkling stars and simply smiled.

“I’ll say.”

She relished the silence between them – it was pleasant, understated, comforting. The ease between them was even more relaxing than any breathing exercise she could attempt. It was kind of ridiculous how well Danny could gauge her mood and just adapt himself to whatever she felt at a given moment — as if her actions made sense to him when she wasn’t sure what she was telling herself.

Given that they hadn’t been together that long, that felt like something that should scare her but… it didn’t. Danny had done this even before they ever got together. He could read her and that was a gift she was trying not to take for granted. C.J. wanted to believe she was getting there, to that point where she could read him as easily, but would she ever be as good?

His little finger touched the back of her right hand tenderly, slowly bringing her back from her own spiraling thoughts. “Are you really okay? No second thoughts?”

“None whatsoever,” C.J. reassured him, linking their fingers to drive her point home. “It’s the same thing as always… I woke up suddenly and I couldn’t get back to sleep. I didn’t want to start tossing and turning, lest I bothered you,” she let out a sigh, rubbing her temple. “So I got up, hoping it would help me sleep, and it didn’t. Not really.”

“But this is helping…?” Danny wondered tentatively, looking pointedly at the grass in front of him. 

C.J. noticed he was still wearing the slippers they had bought together a few weeks ago, when he had thrown away his old ones and declared that ‘the new place deserved better than those old, ragged shoes.’ She had been the one to pick them out for him, at his insistence. 

She couldn’t help but beam shyly at him, lowering her gaze. Yes, his being here was helping her. 

“Sort of. I really didn’t want to wake you.” She sighed, the smile dropping from her face. C.J. truly felt bad about that; her frustrating bouts of insomnia should be just hers. Her boyfriend shouldn’t be suffering from them too. “I mean that.”

“I don’t mind if you wake me. Next time, we can find some ways to tire you out that don’t involve going out to nature,” he teased gently, bumping his shoulder with hers as he winked at her. “You can pepper me with kisses, have your way with me. I don’t know, I’m sure we could come up with something fun.”

“Daniel!” she hissed, her neck growing hot as she blushed at the unexpected turn this had taken. “The neighbors could hear you.” 

Her stern face and expression, barely illuminated by one of the street lights outside, didn’t hold for long. Seconds later, they were both laughing into each other’s shoulder, enjoying the moment.

“ _Okay_. I could also warm you some milk, I guess,” Danny eventually suggested, once they calmed down. He kissed her clothed shoulder before his eyes met hers across a short distance. “Not as fun as the other suggestion but warm milk used to work for me when I was a kid.”

“That would be nice, actually.” C.J. paused, feeling some unexpected tears pooling in her eyes. She wanted to chalk it up to her growing exhaustion but couldn’t discount the emotional memories this was bringing back… or the ones she had been thinking about earlier.

Despite the relative darkness that surrounded them, Danny could tell she was getting emotional again. His hand reached out for hers and covered it without hesitation, squeezing her fingers encouragingly. It all came out pouring out of her, the need to explain herself –to share this part of her– too great.

“My mom used to give me milk and cookies when I was little, after some nightmare woke me up,” C.J. admitted as she pictured herself in her first home, sitting on the chair since their kitchen stools were too high for her. Her voice was breaking as she fought to contain unwanted tears. All of her fingers now interlaced with his, craving the connection as the bittersweet memories flooded back. Feeling his reassuring squeezes encouraged her to go on. Any time she thought of her mother, she couldn’t help but wish she was still around – she wanted to tell her so many things. “In fact, I was thinking about my dad before you came in here.”

“Sorry I interrupted that,” he replied with a frown, his own voice cracking with remorse.

The painful rush of memories darkened her expression, as she recalled how her father, during one of those camping trips, had pointed at a fuzzy cloud south of the Orion Belt and told her her mother was looking over them from there. 

“Don’t be. The night sky… it reminds me of camping out with him after Mom had… Well.” C.J. bit her lower lip as she raised her head towards the sky uncertainly in an attempt to find the nebula tonight. “There is too much light pollution here to see anything but… there is something awe-inspiring about realizing that we are _nothing_. We really are a speck of dust compared to anything out there and that’s both exhilarating and unnerving. It’s silly but I like thinking some part of my Mom is out there, travelling amongst one of the billions of stars, guiding me.”

Saying it out loud sounded ridiculous but she couldn’t quite explain how she felt so insignificant yet _fortunate_ to be part of the only species to explore the vastness of the universe. More than random space trivia, she found some comfort in the lie she had been told as a grieving tween: her mom was somewhere in the universe, watching over her and nudging her in the right direction. C.J. had never revealed this to anyone until just now but sharing this little piece of her with Danny just seemed _right_.

“She is absolutely out there, watching over you, and she’s incredibly proud of you,” Danny reassured her softly, his voice breaking with emotion as he hugged her tighter. He kissed a stray tear away, resting his forehead against hers. “Ceej, you should have told me to leave. I feel bad about barging in.”

“I was done wallowing, Danny. Don’t worry about it. I… uh, I was mostly just going for mindless staring in the dark until I got sleepy.” She forced a smile as she rubbed some tears away using her robe sleeves. “So… warm milk and cookies…?”

“I’ll keep that on the list,” Danny murmured, kissing her forehead lovingly. The gesture was more about quiet comfort after her confession than the milk suggestion itself… but he was good at hiding those double intentions. Though if she could see right through them, was he _that_ good? She wasn’t about to tease him and break the mood.

They fell into a companionable silence again, with only a few cars passing in the distance breaking it. C.J. relished this quiet – she could feel her brain beginning to turn off, which wasn’t really something she could’ve done just a few months ago. It was slowly getting easier now and she had Danny’s invaluable ‘training’ to thank. 

Getting emotional was weighing down on her. Five more minutes and maybe, maybe she would really be ready to sleep through the rest of the night. Maybe Danny could chivalrously carry her to bed if she were to fall asleep on this bench.

Alas, a side look at him revealed Danny was even more tired than she was, it was taking all his effort to keep his eyes open. Who could blame him? He had dragged himself out of bed to get her because he got worried; he had waited this long to show any sign of drowsiness. 

After a couple of minutes of trying to keep his eyes wide open and her suppressing a couple of snickers, he murmured, “It’s really nice out. Gotta love California.” 

“I bet it’s _cold_ in DC right now, huh? We lucked out.” 

He hummed his agreement, his eyes half closed. He was quieter now but his hand was still squeezing hers.

A lightbulb went off in her head as she was struck with a great idea that combined everything they had just talked about and the kind of plan they had vaguely discussed recently. He was half asleep and it wasn’t the best timing but she just had to share it.

“Why don’t we visit Griffith Observatory one of these nights? The light pollution would still be bad but they probably have telescopes out.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun.”

“We should also head there early enough to beat the crows and the traffic so we can get a good parking spot… We could even spend the whole day there,” she pointed out, gesturing excitedly as the idea came pouring out of her. “From what I remember, the exhibits were fun and interactive, they had some interesting projections, and the views from up there were breathtaking. We could even go for a hike around the park beforehand and…”

Danny simply nodded along as she enumerated her ideas enthusiastically. He was visibly resisting sleep – for _her_ – but wasn’t succeeding and his eyes were drooping. It was touching that he was half asleep but he had still come out here for her _and_ had then stayed because she asked him to. Her heart fluttered at the thought, aware of the depth of his feelings for her. Did she even deserve this devotion? Could she ever match it?

“Danny, go to bed, _please_. One of us should rest. You’re obviously exhausted.”

“I’m not sleepy,” he slurred in response, dismissing her with a wave as he glanced at her. “Besides, if I was ‘exhausted’, which I am _not_ , I would refuse to go without you. That was the point of coming out here… I told ya that already.”

Whether he meant Santa Monica or their backyard, she wasn’t sure but – he won. Though she had been ignoring the signs until now, her eyelids were also starting to feel heavy and the drowsiness was overtaking her. C.J. tugged at his robe’s sleeve, rolling her eyes in amusement when he didn’t move, actively resisting her. 

“Come on, Fishboy. You’re a big boy. You don’t need me by your side to fall asleep. Go to bed.”

The moment those words left her lips, she realized the opposite was almost true for her. Kind of funny how that had worked out: C.J. Cregg struggled to sleep unless her boyfriend was next to her. It was true, though; there was just something about Danny that made her feel taken care of and allowed her to relax.

Danny blinked a couple of times, taking another long look at her as if he was memorizing her like this. That made her feel a bit self-conscious; she hadn’t really made herself up before walking out here: her hair was down but shaggy and disheveled. Plus, she probably had a couple of dry eye goobers and puffy red eyes from the heightened emotional state that came from wanting to be asleep but not being able to. Essentially, she was a mess. To her surprise, a small smile illuminated his eyes as he caressed her cheek.

“Okay, okay. I can take a hint. You stay over here, alone in your thoughts,” Danny razzed her, adding long sighs and generally just melodramatic acting. He could be awake when he wanted to. “I’ll head to bed and lament the fact my gorgeous girlfriend would rather be on our backyard swing, all alone, rather than in bed with _me_. This was bound to happen, I should’ve known. I just didn’t think it’d be so soon…”

C.J. chuckled freely at his attempts at acting, shaking her head. “You’re so silly. I would push you off of here but I fear you would actually fall and hurt yourself.”

She pondered for a second what to do about her very sleepy boyfriend and about her own sleeplessness but the choice was clear to her. C.J. stood up from the bench, careful not to upset the balance, and placed her hands on her hips as she faced him. She was going to give sleep another go, hoping to not be as haunted as the cacophony of anxious thoughts that had plagued her in the first place. 

Besides, the novelty of the breeze was wearing off and she was starting to feel the chill after being outside for a good half hour.

C.J. grabbed Danny’s sleeves again, one in each hand, and this time around he stood up offering little resistance. He fell into her arms from the momentum of her pull, which C.J. used to melt into his arms. His head quickly found the spot between her shoulder and neck and Danny peppered a couple of feathery kisses there. His well-groomed beard always elicited a pleasant tickle in the side of her neck that made her laugh every time.

With a smile, she separated from him looking into his eyes. C.J. kissed his lips softly, for too short a second; not as a reward for coming to get her or dutifully dragging her to bed but because she adored him beyond belief and counted herself lucky to have him in her life.

Just before she started to head towards the house, she grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers. “I love you so much. And despite what you say, I love you more than I love that swing. You’re a comfier bed.” She lowered her eyes as her lips curled devilishly, hoping he caught that. “Now, come on. Let’s go to bed.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t be bossy,” he grumbled behind her, dragging his feet as she pulled his hand. Despite his shortness with her, his lips curled.

They stepped into the house together, though C.J stayed back to properly shut the French doors. Before closing the curtains, C.J. caught the tiny, twinkling dots up in the sky she had been staring at earlier, which had now shifted position from where they had been half an hour ago. She wondered if any of those wandering souls that were looking up and seeking answers or direction had anyone in their lives that would guide them through the darkest moments – before the dawn of a new day, in their lives, or any other situations – or if they found any solace in the stars like she did.

C.J. rolled her eyes at herself, groaning: when she started devising bad, nonsensical metaphors like that, she could tell she was ready to pack it up and head to bed. With a smile, she walked the steps to their room, and observed how Danny was already tucked in with his body facing her side of the bed, sleeping soundly. She untied her robe and placed it over their comforter, before slipping into bed and into Danny’s inviting arms.

This is where she was meant to be. She had never been more sure of anything. 

When C.J. closed her eyes this time, she wasn’t haunted by the threat of nuclear war, or world-changing decisions with the Hollis Foundation, or even losing the love of her life. Instead, C.J. could just picture herself staring at the stars with Danny by her side, as they shared more childhood stories… and that image brought her some of that indescribable sense of calm she had been chasing since she was a kid.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this :) Thanks again to Fran and Ruth for bearing with me ♥  
> Kudos and/or comments are appreciated!


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